воскресенье, 14 января 2007
Перед тем как вы начнете это читать, предупреждение: 1 - это английский. 2 - советую не забывать о том, что я не совсем нормальный человек, и единственный, кто, я ЗНАЮ, меня поймет, это Олька, за что ей огромное человеческое спасибо))
Итаг! Начнем-с!
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“Shut up? Why yes, yes you should. That is unless you want my size ten shoe up your asshole.”
Miroku hefted an eyebrow but wisely chose to shut his mouth. Picking up a French fry, he very slowly bit into it, staring unabashed at his friend.
It only took a second for InuYasha to fidget under his glare. Setting down his third bottle of soda, he sighed loudly. “What?”
Miroku kept his gaze unmoving on InuYasha and nodded towards the soda slowly, the french-fry he had so adamantly been dissecting lay limp between his fingers. “On a totally serious note?” InuYasha nodded, looking if not more frustrated. “What color is your urine?”
InuYasha nearly exploded. “What?” he roared over all the noise in the cafeteria. Maybe he was just so irritated that Miroku was dancing around the main subject. He knew his roommate, he knew how Miroku though, he knew how Miroku processed information. Hell, he knew what Miroku was thinking halfway before Miroku did. And that was why he had been on the edge of his seat. He was expecting a rather blunt `so when did you fuck her', or a `so that's how bad you want into her pants', not some trumped up question about his piss.
Miroku's exprеssion never changed, no matter how many people turned to stare at the sudden outburst. “See…drinking all that dark liquid would turn a normal person's piss to be a awful dark yellow color. And you can house up to about seven bottles of cola a day, give or take three bottles of root beer and then five Budweiser's at night. I'm just wondering what you do to balance because any normal person would have pissed out their liver by now. But…you haven't, and being that you partake in a habitual affliction of not being able to flush…”
InuYasha gawked at the man in front of him, unable to construe a logical sentence off his assertion. “You…have been studying…my piss?” leaning across the table, InuYasha dropped his voice to a harsh whisper, “Miroku, I have two works for you. Psychological counseling. There's a center for that here, on campus, right outside this door. I will walk you there, if you want me to. But seriously, seek help. Now.”
Miroku laughed and shook his head. “All I'm asking…”
InuYasha growled and looked towards the ceiling. “Water. I drink lots of water.”
“Bull shit. You don't touch water. I know you don't.”
InuYasha narrowed his eyes as his hefted his gaze towards his roommate. “I call your bluff. Every day before class I buy a bottle of water.”
Miroku's smile grew. “One bottle of water would never be able to counteract the acids of the soda that pool in your bladder.”
InuYasha was just short of jumping across the table and pummeling his friend into a coma. “Is this some fetish I should know about? Cause if it is, that's disgusting.”
Miroku shook his head and waved the French fry at InuYasha. “No. and I agree, that is a rather offsetting fetish. But back to the point; how do you…”
InuYasha shook his head and threw up his hands. “I told you, you sick freak, water. I drink it at class and I drink it when I'm at Kagome's dorm.”
Miroku opened his mouth to nod; the smile that lit up in his eyes was boasting nothing short of victory. “Oh…I see. So…at Kikyo's, you drink lots of water?”
InuYasha snorted and rolled his eyes, finishing off the rest of his soda. “Isn't that what I just said?”
Miroku pursed his lips and readied himself. “No, actually you just referred to it as `Kagome's dorm' which tells me that your subconscious is still thinking about that female, twenty minutes after she's been gone.”
And the Pepsi bottle sprouted wings and flew across the table in the direction of Miroku's face.
“You ass! Didn't I tell you not to include me in those fucking studies of yours?”
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Miroku laughed and started walking again towards the dorms. “Of course, because she's a Higurashi.” Wrinkling his nose, he looked towards his friend again. “But…when you really think about it, no she's not. Her father is a Higurashi…but he disowned her and her mother. So technically, she's a…a umm…what's her mother's last name?”
“Fuck if I know.”
“She's a fuck-if-I-know.”
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14.01.2007 в 05:27Кстати, прости за гнусный коммент в предыдущей мессаге -)
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14.01.2007 в 13:06-
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15.01.2007 в 17:53-
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15.01.2007 в 21:24-
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15.01.2007 в 21:50-
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15.01.2007 в 21:51-
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15.01.2007 в 22:05-
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22.01.2007 в 12:42-
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22.01.2007 в 13:45